Away with the Fairies

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Oi! Stop your Waffling!


'Stop being a waffle!' my husband demands. After many days of indecisive ravings, sleepless nights, weeping upon any dry shoulder in sight, endless pros and cons lists and hours of consequential unproductive-ness, I decided I needed to make a concrete decision. Tomorrow I will take the plunge and confirm my place on the 'Theatre for Development' masters course at Leeds. My doubts came from a lack of trust in God (that he would provide) and a lack of trust in myself (that I would survive a year of insecurity, an intense work load, and that I had the assurance that my desires matched that of those of the father above.) My alternative choice would be to get 'proper job', which would stifle my creative yearnings and passions, but, on paper, would be the more responsible (and comfortable) option.

I am not a natural risk taker, and probably wouldn't have had the boldness to begin something that holds so much uncertainity if it wasn't for Psalm: 37, James: 1 and the support of the special people in my life: the Stamfords, the Johnstons, Sarah, Cat and Lu... whose generous spirits, words of wisdom and ego-boosting encouragement have being my collective 'Wizard of Oz', giving me courage to decide.

I guess life would get boring if every decision was made for you.

6 Comments:

At 4:07 PM, Blogger Candice said...

Yay Beth!

Sometimes what we do is so backwards from the world's expectations.... I'm SO glad you're doing this! It may be challenging, but God is definitely faithful and won't ever leave you or forsake you!

I love you!

 
At 5:01 PM, Blogger Smash said...

Dreams are the scariest things in the world, I think, because they are so painful when they break. But they hurt just as much trapped inside of you. More, probably, but I don't know yet, because I don't think I've lived mine yet. Nathan is also so strong and true to the dreams God has put in his heart, and is passionate that others (especially me) MUST seek them out, whatever the cost. You should see if you can find two wonderful, wonderful books that say something to this discussion: The Wider Life, by J.R. Miller, and then The War of Art by gosh. someone else entirely. Anyway, very inspirational.
And I'll get there someday!
love ya!

 
At 5:52 AM, Blogger Bethybu said...

Cheers mateys
Ashley pie, I will check out those books next time I go to the library. BTW, I keep COMMENTING on you blog but each time they seem to have been diverted into a black hole in cyber space

 
At 11:42 AM, Blogger Hannah said...

Beth! I am really glad you have made the decision and know where you are heading now. Must be a huge weight off your mind finally KNOWING. I am eager to see what you learn and how you grow over this last year specifically doing this program. It sounds really exciting, and I am bit jealous. I will have to live vicariously through you, so get ready to share what you are learning!

 
At 8:22 AM, Blogger Candice said...

Hi Beth! How is school going?

 
At 7:22 AM, Blogger Bethybu said...

I will soon! things are a little mad and rollarcoaster-ish at the mo. I look forward for a time when I can travel around blogland and catch up with you all!

 

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