The prattle of the jet-lagged

Drew and I ran out of Arnica, an anti-jet lag herbal remedy that effectively works as placebo. Thus my mind has decided that I have confused sleep patterns.

I hate re-adjusting to time zones. Which is worse? The torment of being excruciatingly tired but knowing that you need to force open your eyelids (which feel like they are made from the world's heaviest metal - Osmium, apparently-) in order to conquer the 'lag'? or the maddening refusal of an hyperactive brain to switch off and sleep before dawn? Personally I can manage the former, but insomnia always gets the better of me- and I throw of the claustrophobic blankets and leap and bound around the house with my eye pinged open. Hence the following disclaimer: I am sleep deprived and the words you see before you may not form anything but a fuzzy stream-of-consciousness.

Whilst reflecting on my trip to Canada, and upon our visit to Martin and Danielle's little pad it occurred to me that couples are a funny phenomenon. Although I have spent the last couple of years or so becoming half of a harmonized duo, it was not until I observed the Aspergen's that I stepped back and really considered the concept of two unique individuals choosing to take their route through life side by side. Perhaps it is because I am midway through Bill Bryson's 'Short History of Nearly Everything' that I am re-considering the age old 'who am I' question, and that my line of thought is inspired by scientific processes. For example, it is interesting to see marriage through a Chemist's eyes, with each individual being a separate chemical. When the two substances combine their is a crazy chemical reaction that produces energy and alters the properties of the original identities. I think I am still ME, but maybe a molded me? People do not look at me and see Drew (hopefully!) and I cannot BARE to be referred to as 'the Johnstons' (ugh!), but I think my love and fellowship with this special man has altered my point of reference, has made me into a more confident, secure and eccentric person.

On a much larger scale I wonder if becoming a Christian can be seen as the activation of an 'chemical reaction' between our creator and ourselves. By forming strong inseparable bonds that allow chemicals to function effectively he transforms us and charges our very being with the power of his spirit.

I know this sounds vague, ( I am, after all, a humanities student and, thus, should abandon attempts at the scientific), but it is important to understand one's self. Not in the self-obsessive hypo-analytical way recommended in some crack-pot physiological books, but to a way that we can self-assess our character, how we respond to things, what things are influences the constant morphation of who we are, how others see you* or what motivates us so we can consciously observe the trajectory of our created self and receive the Lords assurance for the present and the path ahead.

* I will add a little aside on what others think about you, as this is an ambiguous method to consider one's self. For me I find such 'feedback' hysterically contradictory, for instance I am regarded by some as being a quiet, passive person who will often avoid action and will retire into my own little world (with the fairies), contrary to this perception, others insist that I am intensely loquacious, and that the zip for my mouth has being busted beyond repair. Another flaw in the 'what others think' approach is that 'others' are prone to get you wrong. Jesus demonstrated that popularity is not always worth the effort. However, I reckon that if you are selflessly bringing joy to people, and that people trust you, you can see this as a manifestation of being right before God and of healthy organic character growth.

hee hee, is your head feeling dizzy? Don't say I didn't warn you! I promise less words and more pictures in my next blog. Thinking makes me hungry, and Katherine, my inseparable high school buddy, left some delectable food in the fridge from when she way house-sitting whilst we where in Canada.


Krazy Kat and myself as care-free teens!