As Fruity as a Bat Cake

Sometimes 'Spoonerism' is my middle name. I love showering my vocab with colourful phrases, but lack the memory to sustain their accuracy. In the last week I have been heard to muse that 'I smell a mouse', as well as regularly 'taking a challenge with piece of cake', whilst finding it all 'a pinch of salt'. However, I still held enough self belief to insist that I was not as daft as a comb to suggest that Drew should 'keep his nose to the ground' about some suspicious circumstances that had cropped up today. Drew laughingly corrected that it was 'ear to the ground' and I was confused with 'nose to the grindstone.' Now, I was so adamant I was right (I had images in my head of trackers smelling poo to track things and figure out what was going on, thus 'nose' seemed the most logical choice) so I typed it into google to prove my case.

I was wrong of course. However, my search results did find me something quite hilarious. Out there in Cyber space is a bloke who also has 'spooner-itus' and posted his unfortunate mistakes on the web (which included mine). Here are some of my favourites. Enjoy.

• A cock and ball story
• Anything for a quiet wife
• Burning my bridges at both ends
• Feeding the mouth that bites you
• Going off on a tandem
• Hitting the snail on the head
• I wandered lonely as a crowd
• I've got a bone to grind with you
• I've got an axe to pick with you
• In the land of the blind, Elvis is king
• It's a Trojan heel
• It's my Achilles' horse
• Making a meal out of a molehill
• Like a bear on a hot tin roof
• Like a cat with a sore arse
• Smelling like hotcakes
• Origin of the Specious
• The world is my lobster
• Turning a blind cheek
• Turning the other eye
• You can lead a fish to water
• It buggers belief
• It'll all end in cheers
• It squeaks volumes

Miraculously, and in spite of my lack of command of my mothertongue, I got my grades for English back today and scraped a 'First' (yippee!). The strike ended the last week, which is good news for me, as it means I can actually graduate, but sad news for the lecturers who will probably have to dig out their patchy jackets and rickety bikes...

Next week I find will be told a number which will determine my fate for next year. Will I get to do a fun creative masters degree, or sentenced to a year (or a life) of 9-5boredomm? Aaaahhhh!Thee suspense is driving me NUTS!

I am having Lucy withdrawal symptoms. It was so wonderful to talk, talk, and talk some more. Drew fulfills the spot as 'bestest buddy' very copiously, however every girl needs time with female companions. Women (althoughh obviously NOT inferior), are definitelyy different. And what wonderful differences...